The God in Our Hearts

When I was seven, my grandparents committed suicide. My grandfather was dying of cancer and had months to live; and my grandmother decided she couldn’t live without him. A year later, a boy in my religion class (I was raised Catholic, and attended ‘CDC’ classes) told me that my grandparents – because they had killed themselves – had gone to Hell. While it may be true that somewhere that is IN the Bible - I knew this was untrue. Nevertheless, it hurt. My grandparents were loving, giving people. They never hurt anyone, they never committed adultery, they’d honored their parents, they’d raised their children with love, and worked hard – and sure, they were flawed, but by any common-day estimation, they were rewarded in death for their good lives - by going to Heaven. This boy, who told me they’d gone to Hell, was eight years old. He didn’t know enough to know much about religious doctrine. He wasn’t old enough to really judge for himself whether or not it was ‘true’. He said it, because he knew it would cause me pain – and it did – and because getting a rise out of me for a moment, would be exiting, and make him feel powerful. I went home that day, in tears, and told my mother what the boy had said (about her parents). She made a tearful but restrained phone-call to the boy’s mother, who then in turn made the boy call me – and apologize. Why did the mothers intervene? After all, the boy was only stating a ‘fact’ that was in the Bible. The mothers intervened because, a) Nobody really knows if the whole, entire Bible is ‘true’, or if parts are allegory. b) The boy wasn’t stating a ‘fact’ as he’d read in the Bible; he was intentionally trying to hurt me. c) The boy needed to be taught that stating ‘facts’ from the Bible in order to hurt someone is not Godly, or Christ-like. It is a childish thing to do, and requires an apology from the offending person. d) The God in your heart – not the God in the Bible – who dictates our actions. The God in our hearts is not a vengeful God. The God in our hearts loves everyone, equally, without reservation or judgment. The God in our hearts knows the true way – and no words, in any Book, can equal the power of the God we know, in our hearts. In time, this boy became a dear friend. I loved him, deeply. He was kind, soulful, easy to laugh – precious to me. A few years ago, Cancer took him away from us. I know in my heart that – since my dear, beautiful grandparents went to Heaven – that they are some of those who greeted him at the bar, upon his arrival. They are having celestial martinis together, today – and every day – and forever. I just hope, one day, I can join them. But only if I listen to the God in my heart.